


Living in Daydreams

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Broken Edge Deleted Extended and Alternate Scenes -- Ben's childhood [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Puppy Love, teenage crushes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 15:58:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11293956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben first realizes he's in love with Poe.





	Living in Daydreams

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

  
The moment that the reality of his feelings hits him, it feels too much like a runaway speeder. He loves Poe. It’s not just friendship that he feels for Poe. He loves this man. And Ben feels like kicking himself. He could never love Poe. Not without scrutiny, at least.

  
He can’t love – but he loves Poe. He thought it was just a certain hero worship when he bragged about Poe’s exploits to Annie and Thomas, when he kept talking about how great Poe was, but it’s not. It’s love, it’s honest to Force love that he feels.

  
He loves Poe. Loves his smile, loves his laugh, loves the crinkles around his eyes, loves his kindness, loves his sense of humor, loves his incredible bravery, loves his new relationship with BB-8, his piloting droid…loves everything about him. He loves Poe, and it can’t be, because the Order’s still split on this, all of this, and he’s too young, and Poe would never look his way, and –

  
Ben sits on his bed in frustration. He loves this man. And now his feelings are hitting him with the force of an oncoming speeder. Would Poe ever love him back? Ever? Ever ever ever?

  
He doesn’t know. And yet, even as he whispers “I love you” to the empty room, he pictures himself saying it to Poe, when they’re both older (Ben’s only sixteen, after all), Ben a refined adult, his words like poetry instead of the stumbling words they are now. He pictures them dating, holding hands, watching the sunset. He pictures showing Poe the stars, untainted by war. He pictures all that and more even as he falls into a deep sleep, haunted by thoughts of a love that could be.


End file.
